At Croquet last week (good times were had by all) I had a discussion with a certain individual. Let’s call him N. Eagle. Wait, that might be too obvious. Let’s call him Nate E. Anyway—this individual and I are both soon-to-be groomsmen of a certain third party, M.E. At Croquet, then (go Platypi! Whoo!), Mr E had a nice chuckle at my expense, as I had not yet gone into Men’s Warehouse to have my measurements taken and so forth. Apparently N. Eagle had done his groomsmanly duty over a month ago.

Well, Nate E., I talked to our mutual friend last night, and I’m on to you. Having been measured for some other, entirely unrelated, piece of formalwear, and having the measurements transferred, doesn’t count. And as M.E. hasn’t done the deed himself yet, it seems I’m actually the only one of the party to have made a real and positive effort in this arena. You made me feel like a slacker for nothing!